Feature by Brad Balfour
During the pandemic lockdown, various technologies came to the rescue. Many felt they couldn’t survive without their devices, phones or laptops. Streaming services reigned supreme and Amazon provided every product possible. So Christopher Fetchik — and partner Michael (Mikey) Colón — came up with a new application of that technology which could help in a way that few had thought of.
They created a live streaming company specializing in funeral services — Legacy Celebrated. It provides services inside funeral homes, as well as in churches, synagogues and even at gravesides. With an experienced team of videographers and technicians, Fetchik and Colón are helping families close the gap during that most vulnerable and emotional time — when dealing with the death of a loved one. Their service has eliminated the distance between so many families during Covid-19 and can actually extend across the globe.
Legacy Celebrated came together by a chance meeting at a time when bringing people together was a necessity: our funerals and burials. As one of the company’s creators and principals, Fetchik was a certified fitness professional making a self-directed workout video. With the onset of COVID, his production quickly shifted to live-streaming workouts for fitness enthusiasts forced to stay away from their gyms. That led to the creation of the Living Room Workout.
While Fetchik was focused on virtual workouts, Colón had already been creating video content for social media commercials and websites, an add-on to an already successful career in photography. This continued despite the onset of the pandemic.
Eventually, as restrictions were minimizing and fitness centers were allowed to open again for personal training and small group outdoor classes, Chris took the opportunity to create outdoor videos at the Montclair YMCA in New Jersey. That was the same YMCA that had contracted Colón to create promo videos to market the re-activation of its facilities.
One video Colon was creating was for the outdoor classes in which Fetchik was the subject. As the fitness pro explained, “It was actually kind of funny having someone film me filming myself. At the end of class and filming, we started talking. We clicked pretty quickly over technical jargon, each with a world of knowledge to open to the other. Shortly after that connection, a business plan would unfold after Mikey attended a funeral.”
During what started out as simply paying respects to someone, Fetchik was repeatedly asked about how to setup a live stream on a social media platform. Could people from far away view these events in real time? After going back and forth, he offered to do the stream. Immediately after the service ended, the funeral home approached Colon about rates and services for future bereavement events.
“Some of our services have seen participants in the thousands from all over the world,” added Fetchick. “To our surprise, with COVID restrictions being lifted, we’re still growing. Part of what we’re finding is that people have utilized the video for more than just a live streaming service.
“During grieving, there is so much missed. I can attest from my own experience that the overwhelming emotions I’ve endured have left an entire funeral process in a blur. So many wonderful stories are brought up at a funeral, but I missed them all. The video has given so many people an opportunity to recompose themselves and watch the service when the time is right for them.
“For some, having the video has been a lasting connection for them to hold onto. For whatever the reason has been for each individual, it’s been acknowledged frequently that the video has been a huge part of the grieving process.
“Mikey and I put our business heads together and within a few short days we had a name, logo, price list, plan, website, and a solid direction. A couple days later, we handled our first service. It was a heartbreaking moment for both of us in seeing someone so young who had passed away. I had to contemplate if this was something I really wanted to do. But the decision to continue was answered at that same moment. Having a small group of people so appreciative of having us bring the larger mass of virtual attendees together with them spoke volumes. I knew in that moment I had a purpose.
“As word of the quality of our service began to spread, we got busy and built a team. As non-denominational as we are for people, we’ve seen all kinds of funeral services. Despite having different cultural traditions, we’ve noticed the similarities of grieving, family and friends connecting more closely, a mix of tears and laughter as they recite stories of the deceased.”
“It’s a process that everyone goes through to find closure. While COVID prevented that, live-streaming not only brought back that sharing. It created a new approach to grieving, which is yet another transformation in the funeral process.
“Since we have the video equipment there, one of the unique things we’ve done is to create a tribute to the family. As when people line up at the end to offer their condolences to the family, here they would do the same thing in front of the camera and often add a short story in memory of the deceased. When they all come together in a video montage, it makes for an incredibly unique and heartfelt ending for a finished video. It’s for those ceremonies when families like to add-on the video gift box. It’s a really nice way to memorialize a life well-lived.
Fetchick further revealed, “Growing up in a household of Irish pride, I’ve always heard my grandmother say she wanted to have a nice Irish Funeral. There was this ‘legend’ that an Irish funeral was anything but somber. Instead, the casket was propped up in a corner looking at a room full of people singing, dancing, drinking, have a wonderful time as the deceased was there to see one last party. I was so intrigued by this that I used to say it myself. As it turns out, that’s not actually how it happens. But there’s always a story that creates a belief.”
As Fetchick noted, “In ancient times, it was said that the Irish would attend parties in which wine, beer, and other drinks would be in giant lead tanks. As they poured their drinks into their cups, they were getting a nice healthy dose of lead from the tanks, which was poisonous. The poison would put people in a catatonic state resembling death, lasting anywhere from hours to days. This was apparently so well known that it led to the reason why wakes were necessary, as they needed to make sure people were actually dead and not just poisoned. Getting lost in translation over generations, I can see how the idea of one last party came to be.
“Traditionally, the Irish believed the wake was a time to celebrate as they considered death as the third birthday. There’s birth as the first birthday. There is baptism as the second in which they believed your soul was newly born. And finally, upon death, it is your third birthday as you enter into the afterlife. Now this makes sense to me.
“My great-grandparents had a truly genuine Irish funeral. My great-grandparents were first generation to arrive in America. They were here during prohibition and ran a speakeasy somewhere in Newark, NJ. From my understanding, they made bathtub barrels and had underground tunnels to escape law enforcement. This was real. And when it was their time for eternal rest, here’s how the Irish funeral really happened.
“As per the Irish tradition, my grandparents were laid to rest in their own home. By tradition, their bodies were never left unattended from the time they passed till when they were buried. My great grandparents were watched over by a woman. That same woman would clean and prepare their bodies, as the belief was that a woman washing the dead with holy water would bring good fortune.
“In following the tradition, the body would be brought near an open window with some of the departed’s possessions surrounding them. The window must be left open so the spirit may fly out to its eternal journey. And anyone who closed the window would be cursed for eternity.
“It’s likely that some of these rituals were followed out of habit before belief. But this was a story passed down.
“Some other traditions include the stopping of clocks at the time of death. It was also believed that you weren’t to cry over the deceased until they were prepared. Otherwise, evil spirits would take the soul and carry it away, preventing the soul from being free from its own journey.
Added Fetchick, “In today’s world, those old beliefs aren’t followed as much. In ancient times there were rituals to ward off evil and welcome fortune. Wakes and funerals have evolved into including those beliefs as a ceremony to maintain heritage. Funerals evolved even more with the idea that we should celebrate a life well-lived while we mourn the loss.
“With modern technology we get to shape the funeral service a little more not only by bringing everyone from around the world together, but also by creating that keepsake that has become an added utility in their grieving process.
“In the end, regardless of the culture, we all follow the traditional flow of expressions that vary from person to person, which suits their individual needs for grieving and finding closure. As the videographer and live-streaming provider, we can capture that moment in all its authenticity so you can connect with your friends and family more closely.”
Q: How did you come up with the name?
CK: The name Legacy Celebrated was a little bit of a rush, as we needed something fast. In our initial conversation about selecting a name, we were so focused on trying to find something that connected us to the word funeral. Name after name, everything we came up with was already taken. We started to reach a little bit and the word Legacy stood out as something monumental. As we continued our discussion, our thoughts were to separate from words that would induce sorrow and instead promote the idea of the celebration of life.
As soon as that phrase came out, it took a matter of seconds to decide on Legacy Celebrated. I’m excited about the name because it truly supports our beliefs in what people leave behind when they pass, and when they lived an amazing life with their families, their lives are deserving of the celebration.
Q: What was the strangest funeral you’ve handled?
CK: We haven’t come across anything too outlandish. During the winter, we’ve had our share of standing in two feet of snow just to be able to get the camera in the right spot. While we always make sure the casket is on display, we had one request to have a camera facing in the casket.
Maybe the strangest scenario we had was a moment before the Johnny Pacheco funeral service. It was a church service in which we weren’t able to get in as early as we would have liked based on the level of detail, so we had to wait outside for a little while. With it being such a public event, we wanted to be inside before the crowds got too big and definitely before the news crews started showing up. While waiting outside, we watched a random guy starting arguments with people about how he had money and knew all the famous people that Johnny Pacheco knew. And that was fine until he started approaching us. It was just a weird moment. But it was NYC weird and he just happened to also be attending the service. He was well behaved once inside.
We do have some random moments that stand out. I’ll preempt this by saying that services range between extreme sorrow –– normal for someone way too young or who passed from something sudden –– to an all-out celebration of life. The norm is that a funeral, at least from what we’ve seen, is a somber event with a few random bouts of humor to help ease the sorrows. Some even lean a little more festive with a few bouts of sorrows to say hey, this is still a funeral. But one in particular stood out with regard to the celebration of life. It was an outdoor service during the winter. I found it strange that before we started, it was acknowledged that we shouldn’t think too poorly about how everyone was going to speak. Almost like they had to legitimize that they did love the deceased.
I simply said, “Everyone grieves in their own way. It’s no one’s right to judge that, even us.” Well, I understood moments later when the funeral service was transformed into a comedy stage. It was literally one comedian after the next and genuinely funny. But I also really got it. We work hard to capture the families to get that connection over the Internet. We know we’ve done everything right by the end of the service when we, as people who’ve never met the deceased, feel like we knew them their whole lives. And that comedy routine was that person. We’ve met so many amazing people. But we never met them in their living years. And yet, it’s always an honor to be a part of their celebrations of life.
Q: Have you had any funny experiences in how people used the service?
CK: During COVID, we’ve done a few virtual tributes. The idea is that it’s sort of like a funeral service, but takes place long after, sometimes as an annual tradition. They’re a cross between a memorial service and a corporate event. It’s done 100% remotely and includes videos, slideshows, lots of fun stories, and usually lighthearted and comical. One in particular was of someone who became an actor in his retirement years and was in a commercial and on David Letterman. A little side note on that one… during the service, you could hear someone fall down. He was fortunately ok. But I did remove that from the final cut. After I sent the recorded service, I was actually asked to put the fall back in. Since the man was ok, the family had decided that the deceased would have found the event funny and it made sense to keep it in.
Q: Any differences between certain religions or cultures?
CK: This could easily be a story in itself if we were to dive into the cultural backgrounds. And this could seriously be an endless saga. But, for a large part, they are all mostly the same these days.
The services themselves all start off with private family time. We actually leave the room as soon as they come in. Regardless if we’re setup or not, this will never be live-streamed nor recorded. We believe that is a private moment for the family and should forever remain that way.
Many services consist of the immediate family waiting in a separate room until just before the start of the service. The funeral director will let people know they are about to start and ask everyone to rise. At that moment, the family will walk in, and then the service will begin.
There will always be an opening dialogue by the officiant, followed by one or several people delivering a eulogy. With the live-streaming, we have the ability to have someone deliver a eulogy remotely. They can be seen and heard in real time. Aside from the eulogy, some religions and cultures will have special readings; like a prayer in a Catholic service, or a chant in an Indian service.
Many services will consist of a video slideshow or old home videos. Usually they are either before or after the service. But we’ve seen plenty where videos have been created to use as part of the service.
When it comes to graveside services, the Jewish ceremonies have a unique element at the end in which they all take turns shoveling dirt into the grave until the casket is fully covered. Ceremonially, each person does two. The first one is upside down to signify reluctance. The second is done right side up to indicate acceptance.
In other ceremonies we’ve seen a dance, live music and chants. While there are plenty of traditional elements, the modern day funeral has opened up the idea that regardless of denomination, families are welcome to celebrate the departed’s life in any way they feel comfortable with. This was not the case generations ago.
Q: Where is this going?
CK: In moving forward, we have a few different areas to explore. I think once we’ve successfully live streamed funerals consistently, we can live stream just about any event. We’ve done graduations, corporate events, street fairs, car shows, etc. Honestly, most of those are much easier than funerals simply because we have more communications prior to the event.
When you’re live, you have one shot to connect with your subject. It’s much harder at a funeral where you’ve had minimal to no contact ahead of time. And without the connection, you’re just pointing a camera. So in that regard, we always have an open door to exploring new avenues. But I don’t think the funerals will be going away. It would seem that what we’ve done with videography and live streaming has created a new way to have a funeral. In ancient times, funerals were performed with rituals to satisfy beliefs.
They later evolved into traditional values where the deceased was on display in their home or the home of someone close. In modern days, the deceased was taken to a funeral home where they specialized in the care and preserving of the deceased during the funeral process. And now in a more technological time, we can evolve the funeral service to include people who cannot be physically present in a more meaningful way. We also create the opportunity for those who are mourning to extend their funeral to a time more suited for them.
For some people, they go through the entire funeral in such a blur that they don’t even realize who was present or what was said. This gives them a chance to see everything when they’re ready. For others, having the video at their side is simply a keepsake that lets them hold onto a piece of their dearly departed until they’re finally ready to let go. We each have our own way of grieving and in our own time. Our approach gives them another option that works for so many.
Another direction that we’ve committed to, and it’s already underway, are Family Documentaries. People live fascinating lives, often inspiring. They themselves don’t always realize how inspiring they are, and how much they can offer their families as a result, until we start the process. We believe creating these Family Documentaries will be a great add-on to what we already do. We will have the operations running by the start of the 4th quarter this year, and just in time for the holiday season.
Q: How do people find you?
We’re easily found on the web at www.legacycelebrated.com. However, almost all of our work comes from referrals. A small amount of it is coming from people we meet at random, but that usually translates into corporate or other types of work.