Tuesday March 28, 2007

ARIES
Mar 21st - Apr 19th

You might be tempted to call in sick this week and lie around with greasy hair watching Oprah and Jerry Springer, while eating snacks. It is tempting but you will miss and regret missing a showdown between some of your least favorite coworkers. Help out a whiny friend this weekend if you wish to continue raiding her closet or using his sporting equipment. While you have heard the same stories over and over, the payoff is worth the bending of your ear, right? For you taken Aries, you hate to leave your partner to their own devices on Sundays, when chances are they will do nothing but still manage to make a mess, or end up sleeping on a bar somewhere...keep them in check this week.

TAURUS
Apr 20th - May 20th

Avoid temptation to get involved in office politics midweek. Friday is your day to catch the eye of someone higher up on the food chain in the office. So don't skip out early or go boozing during lunch. A friend hits on you this weekend and it can be a bit uncomfortable... like since when have they been interested in you? Find a nice way to blow them off and tell them to take a hike. For the couples out there, Venus the goddess of love remains ensconced in your sign and you're happiest making him or her happy. But if they aren't appreciating your efforts to plump up the pillows behind him and reheat her cold cuppa, shopping is another way to put a smile on your face.

GEMINI
May 21st - Jun 22nd

Karma is going to bite you in the butt this week. Sure you did the wrong thing but do you deserve this payback you ask? Maybe not- but next time, you will respect the fact that there are higher powers in play here and play nice. A good friend literally breaks into song when you agree to match him or her up with one of your hottest friends. But warn them, you don't want to hear a word when it all goes to hell... For the paired off Twin types, Passion master Mars spends his last full week in your long distance travel zone. If you've been banging on about seeing that world with your partner in tow, put more effort into getting them to at least help look online for travel bargains. A Sag is a great friend to you this week.

CANCER
Jun 22nd-Jul 22nd

You will want to look your best on Tuesday, so even if it means getting up an hour earlier and actually blow drying your hair and putting on make up skillfully (versus air drying and hit and miss application in the car) it will be worth it. Drunken dialing should never be part of foreplay, so keep this in mind when that person just doesn't seem interested in you. Leave them be and find someone else who might be interested. It is simply a matter of refocusing kids... So asking a mate to go talk to them for you is totally lame and should be avoided. Even your most mundane chats with your partner yield surprising insights this weekend. So when they start waffling on about their favorite dog that died or something their coworker said to them, listen up people.

LEO
Jul 23rd - Aug 22nd

Give in to the powers of mindless entertainment this weekend (TV, trashy mags, online shopping, info-mercials), after your best friend's drama sucks you in and then spits you out midweek. In less than a week, Saturn, the planet of focus and discipline moves direct in your sign. You need a project boys and girls, a mission, a Holy Grail... and guess what? It isn't wearing jeans and a t-shirt. In other words, it isn't a man or a chick. Venus in your friendship zone is just the excuse you need to leave your partner to their own weird devices and hit the spa or a bar with a friend, whatever you prefer. Let them wonder what your up to.

VIRGO
Aug 23rd - Sep 22nd

Great news early this week may probe your boss doesn't despise you. The jury is still out however on your narcissistic coworker, who is still plotting your downfall. A date turns out to be much better than you had envisioned. Not only are they decent looking, they actually could hold a conversation that wasn't about sports or fashion. Venus the planet of love and happiness in your spiritual zone lets your partner off the hook when they mess up badly this week. Please, they will be so super grateful you're letting them off the hook; they will behave themselves for the rest of the month. Saturday will be a rocketing day, unlike Thursday's black clouds.

LIBRA
Sep 23 - Oct 23rd

Don't browbeat the work experience kid this week, even though you feel entitled. You too were once young and kinda dumb, have a heart, especially towards the end of the week, when every little thing bothers you for no other reason than it does. Walk away when a friend gets all moralistic on you midweek. Sure they are allowed their own opinion but seem to be conveniently forgetting their recent hellacious behavior. If you want to change you will do it, who cares what they think. The combo of the Aries Sun and Leo Moon on Tuesday makes it the perfect day to surprise your partner or special someone with something they have wanted for a long time. Just don't make a big song and dance over it.

SCORPIO
Oct 24th - Nov 21st

Avoid a silly squabble with a neighbor or your landlord this week. Sure you want to fight for your rights, but is it worth having to sneak around your own flat so they don't know you're home? Venus, the enchantress of the zodiac continues on her merry way in Taurus, your relationship zone. Sure you're meeting heaps of people, but if the majority or all of them aren't worth meeting, what's the point? The point is one of them is going to be okay, or one of their friends, so keep searching. If you've got nothing positive to say to your partner, don't say anything at all. Sure you want them to do things your way, but banging on and on about it isn't the way to get them to fall into the line. Hopefully they will take the hind and act accordingly.

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 22nd - Dec 21st

Your friends are super boring right now and its time to stir things up by making a new friend and hanging out with him or her, thereby making your old friends jealous. That way they'll agree to actually leave the house and do something fun instead of lying around whining all weekend long. How high school right? With the Sun in Aries, your romance zone, any and all opposite sex attention is a bonus. But that doesn't mean you get talking into going on a date with someone who is totally not your type this weekend. You have standards, don't you? For you couples, if you dislike one or all of your partner's friends, avoid getting into a drag down argument with your partner about it this weekend if possible. You could say things you will later regret.

CAPRICORN
Dec 22nd - Jan 19th

If you're not as financially savvy as you could or should be, this is a great time to sit down with a financial expert (or your dad) and work out how you can balance your checkbook and your spending versus saving. Seductress Venus continues to do her thing in your romance zone and there is absolutely no reason why you are dateless. Unless you are setting your standards so high that even Brad or Scarlett might get rejected? Friday is your most productive day of the week; work, happy hour, meeting new people etc. but it might not be for your partner if you have one. So don't expect them to jump when you tell them to. Go about your business and let them limp along at their own pace, or call them for a ride home when you can't drive. Pisces is a good friend to you this week.

AQUARIUS
Jan 20th - Feb 18th

You always seem to be a step ahead of everyone else, that is one of the best things about being you, you're a trendsetter. But this week, you realize you are on the wrong track and need to course correct yourself, ASAP. Towards the end of the weekend, you find yourself cursing your beauty and irresistibility to the opposite sex, when yet another possible relationship bites the dust. Lucky you're also good at being alone, right? For you couples out there, stop obsessing over your partner and their exes this week. It is not like you to be jealous, but you can't help wanting to pry through his or her old love letters and trinkets from the various strumpets who occupied their time and bed before you did.

PISCES
Feb 19th- Mar 20th

While snapping at your siblings is almost a sport for you, right now the Universe is providing you with the cosmic firepower to call a cease-fire. Why not squash that old argument once and for all. Chat him up Mercury spends his last full week in your sign. If you have been staring at your crush while hunched over the fax machine or as they run on the treadmill, it's time to actually get something going. Maybe you could speak to the object of your desire? There's a thought...If you haven't had time to really sit down with your partner and talk something through, there is no better time than Friday night, after the first bottle of whatever has been consumed and the weekend break lies in front of both of you.