New Anti-Bullying Pulpit - Missing The Point

The recent report out of Hollywood was the news that actor Zachary Quinto, the new Spock in the latest Star Trek film, came out of the closet. In a New York Magazine interview with Benjamin Wallace, he said that "yet another gay teenager, Jamey Rodemeyer, was bullied and killed himself... And again, as a gay man I look at that and say there's a hopelessness that surrounds it, but as a human being I look at it and say 'Why? Where's this disparity coming from, and why can't we as a culture and society dig deeper to examine that?'"

14 year-old Rodemeyer of Buffalo, New York, left a sorrowful farewell post describing how depressed he was about the bullying he endured at school. Another teen, 15 year-old Jamie Hubley of Ottawa was the only openly gay student at his school who committed suicide over the bullying and his desperate desire for acceptance. There is no doubt that gay suicides are up especially among teens and the LGBT community is calling it a national crisis. Naturally it is calling for gay tolerance programs to be taught in the schools.

Mental Health America (formerly known as the National Mental Health Association) addressed this issue on its website. Its suggested solution:

Help start a Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) chapter at your local high school. Youth whose schools had these kinds of groups were less likely to have reported feeling unsafe in their schools. Arrange for a group like GLSEN to present bullying prevention activities and programs at your school.

But bullying is not restricted to gay students and has been a sad statistic since time immemorial. Its victims have been called fat, skinny, pimply, tall, short, and every ethnic sobriquet you can think of. Suicide, however, has not always been the result of the harassment and I fear that an underlying cause for the tragedies may be overlooked by those seeking to indict social intolerance as a factor for purely political reasons.

In 2004, there was a succession of student suicides at NYU and after the fourth incident I did some research for a column I wrote for the New York Sun.

I discovered that suicides were not unique to students at NYU. In fact, suicide is the third-leading cause of death among 15-24-year olds, according to the National Alliance of the Mentally Ill and the U.S. surgeon general. In this area, six students from Columbia University committed suicide between January 2000 and December 2001. All across the nation, colleges have to deal with the problem of depression and personal relations affecting their student population.

What is not being discussed is the role that an increase in the use of marijuana among young adults may have on these statistics. The college students of today are the children of the baby boomers who regarded marijuana as harmless back then and to a certain degree still do. Hollywood promotes its use as a harmless form of relaxation and liberal politicians and celebrities push for its legalization. What these pot advocates rarely explain is that this so-called innocent drug can accentuate whatever mood the user is in. Thus a depressed adolescent may become suicidal. Is it so unlikely that a young, immature person undergoing loneliness or failed personal relations might seek solace in what is viewed as a harmless recreational drug?

I am reminded of the lyrics of George Harrison's song, "Beware of darkness":

Watch out now,
Take care beware the thoughts that linger
Winding up inside your head
The hopelessness around you
In the dead of night
Beware of sadness

Psychologist Karen Jordan wrote an article in 2000 for school Psychology Review in which she reported:

"Recent studies have indicated that substance abuse is a growing problem among youth and that the problem is even greater among gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth. The origins of substance abuse in sexual minority teens may be linked with feeling marginalized by society, seeking relief for feelings of depression and isolation, or desiring alleviation of the chronic stress associated with being stigmatized both interpersonally and intrapersonally. Prevention and intervention efforts can be successful in working with sexual minority adolescents in jeopardy of developing substance abuse problems."

So while many celebrities are getting on the anti-bullying bandwagon I doubt seriously if they will consider substance abuse as part of the problem in the rising suicide rate. Politicians use public fervor to promote expensive solutions to problems on the taxpayers' dime.

I looked at the cost of a New York State Department of Education anti-bullying program and wondered why everything that has to do with education in our city costs so much when common sense is cheaper and works better. You can train all the teachers and administrators in the school system and not produce the results of one of Jeff Gomez's "Never Surrender" seminars.

Jeff Gomez is the CEO and president of Starlight Runner Entertainment Inc. which is involved with several highly successful franchises, producing and developing animation, comic book, and video game packages. Mr. Gomez was born in a charity ward to a teenage Jewish girl and a teenage Puerto Rican father, and his forceps delivery resulted in the paralysis of the left side of his face. If anyone can understand bullying, it is this man, who grew up in the Baruch housing projects and endured endless teasing and harassment.

This chief executive has championed the concerns of youth, and his advice on bullying is based on common sense, not formulas designed by bureaucrats. His three-pronged system is simple, yet effective: First, teach your child good posture and direct movements. Hunched shoulders and staring at the floor are target signs that bullies look for. Second, teach your child not to mumble. Children who speak up with a clear, strong voice are less likely to be targeted because bullies don't like to attract attention. Third, encourage friendships for your child and teach him or her to stick together with other children, because bullies are less inclined to target groups.

After the Columbine shootings many parents insisted that their children need cell phones for their safety but they may not realize that these devices can also be used to torment their offspring. Text messages in cyberspace can name-call, belittle, and harass others in anonymity, and the sad fact is that while statistics show that more than 42% of children are cyber-bullied, either by phone or by computer, many do not report it to their parents or school authorities.

Don't be stupid, parents, pull the plug and pay attention to your children. Suicide is always a tragedy especially when committed by the young who are not taught how to deal with what is actually a very common problem. What is even more tragic is when parents end up saying, "I had no idea."

Alicia Colon resides in New York City and can be reached at aliciav.colon@gmail.com and at www.aliciacolon.com