Joe Kavanagh's Music News

Following up on a story that we led off with last week, folk rock act The Swell Season, has decided to split, less than a week after a fan dramatically committed suicide by leaping from a rooftop and landing on the stage during their performance in Saratoga, California. The Oscar-winning act, comprised of Dubliner Glen Hansard and Czech pianist Marketa Irglova, were once linked romantically, which makes this a second breakup of sorts for the pair, as Hansard intends to rejoin his band, The Frames. Speaking of their parting of ways, the guitarist/singer declared: "Getting together and making music with Mar was a side thing for me, but it felt absolutely right. I followed through on it even when it felt like I might've been abandoning my band a bit. But I had to follow through. I knew there was something in this that I had to follow through on. I love the way she writes. I think she's an incredible songwriter and I think she could make a really beautiful, beautiful record... I'm very, very proud of her." Listening to that, you just know that he gave the 'it's not you, it's me' speech when they split the first time. In fairness, I should note that The Swell Season offered to pay for grief counseling for any fan that felt negatively affected as a result of witnessing the suicide, so hats off to them for showing such class on the way out the door...

U2 made a little personal history last week, with their first ever Russian performance, after the band rocked out in the capital of Moscow last Wednesday (Aug 26). Never one to turn down a chance to proselytize, Bono spent much of the previous day in the company of Russian president, Dmitry Medvedev, as the pair discussed a range of social issues. Considering the fact that Moscow police arrested a host of Amnesty International volunteers outside the gig for the 'crime' of handing out leaflets, I'm assuming those talks were about as useful as the proverbial one-armed trapeze artist with an itchy arse...

Something of a controversy has erupted over the recent push by the family of Stephen Gately, and elements of Dublin City council, to erect a statue to the recently-deceased Boyzone member. After initially securing permission to place the statue outside Dublin's Spencer Dock train station, the family now claims that the memorial would be too "lonely" in the agreed location. Representing the family in their quest is Dublin City councilor Christy Burke, who was quoted by the Evening Herald as saying: "His mother doesn't want it there as it's very isolated. I was down there at Spencer Dock and no one was coming in or out." He continues: "Point Village is the most fitting place for Stephen. He would have played there and it's only a stone's throw from where he lived." Personally, I think Stephen Gately's family should be grateful that there a monument will be erected at all, instead of cribbing about the location. These people even had the audacity to ask Iarnrod Eireann (Ireland's national rail company) to rename a station in his honor, an act that has previously only been reserved for the founding fathers of our modern state. I mean, c'mon, the guy admittedly did give back to society, but ultimately will go down as a marginally talented singer who was testament to the adage about it being better to be lucky than good. There is something seriously wrong if Stephen Gately's statue gets built before the one promised to Luke Kelly back in 2004 because talk about the embodiment of Dublin...

A judge has warned George Michael that he faces a prison term, after pleading guilty to possession of cannabis in a London court last week. The former Wham! singer was arrested by police in the early hours of July 4, having crashed his Range Rover into a shop front, and was slumped over the wheel when police arrived at the scene. The star (real name George Panayiotou) confessed that he had been smoking cannabis on the night in question, and that the drugs found in his car were for his own personal use. Given the multiple driving infractions and license suspensions in his past, the singer now faces the very real prospect of spending Christmas behind bars when he returns to the court for sentencing on September 14. I'm not sure whether I agree with sending the man to prison, but considering his vehicular history, George Michael's license should be suspended until we are all driving around in those flying cars out of the Jestons, and even then I'd stipulate that he uses a chauffer...

Controversy has erupted in the UK after a contestant that had successfully qualified to the second round of the X Factor, was dropped as a result of claims that she is mentally unstable. Shirlena Johnson initially was given the thumbs up by Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh, after her creepy, eccentric version of Duffy's track Mercy, but producers of the show subsequently decided to call time on her moment in the sun upon discovering that she failed to inform them of her past battles with mental illness. Speaking of his disappointment at the ruling, Cowell released a statement saying: "I'm devastated. It's heartbreaking. I really feel for her. I'm very upset and disappointed. The advice I'm given is she can't do the show. But there's another argument that we're depriving her of the chance to make some money. Even if she didn't win, she could have picked up money for personal appearances. On the other hand, if we don't take the advice we're irresponsible." Upon initially hearing her rendition, Cowell was heard to remark: "You are completely crazy but I like that. You are fantastically nuts." A saddened Johnson told newspapers that she felt that she was capable of continuing but did admit that she is on daily medication to keep her on an even keel. Given that one professional familiar with her mental state described her as a "ticking time-bomb", it's probably a wise decision and those that compare her plight to Susan Boyle's miss one very salient point; Susan Boyle had talent. This poor lady was just setting herself up to be pilloried as a public joke...

Girls Aloud singer Kimberly Walsh claims that she is still suffering problems with her joints, stemming from her ascent of Tanzania's Mount Kilamanjaro, which she conducted for charity last year, along with a host of other celebrities including Gary Barlow and Cheryl Cole. Speaking of her plight to Helllo! magazine, Walsh announced: "I felt so exhausted afterwards and ever since I've had quite a lot of problems with my hips. I had to rest for a while really to strengthen my joints and stuff. I think I did myself a bit of long-term damage actually. It's fine, though, it was worth it. But don't worry, I don't need a hip replacement just yet." I should probably point out that Walsh is 26-years-old and not some decrepit centenarian. I'm guessing that hers was known as the 'Are we there yet?' party and probably not the one you wanted to be stuck in if you wanted a little peace and quiet...

Speaking of grumbling, Marc Almond was in the news last week, complaining that he is finding it very difficult to get over the memories of the horror motorcycle crash he endured in 2004, which nearly took his life. The Tainted Love singer told You magazine: "I sometimes drive past the spot where it happened and I see myself lying in the road. I lived round the corner from Freddie Mercury when he died, and people created this shrine of poems and flowers and teddy bears, and I've sometimes wondered if my fans would have done the same for me." I'm no councilor but I would imagine that driving past the place where the accident happened can't be too helpful when it comes to trying to forget about it...

While intrigue continues to surround potential headliners for next year's Glastonbury festival, one act that has ruled themselves out of ever holding down the main stage at the venerable event. Speaking in the media last week, Iron Maiden's lead singer Bruce Dickenson confessed: "Glastonbury is a bit too cream cakes and afternoon tea for us. It's all yurts and people being far too polite." From that statement, I'm not sure that he is thinking of the right Glastonbury and to be honest, for all the rumored headliners of the event, I can't ever recall Iron Maiden ever being among them...

Happy Mondays dancer Bez was jailed for four weeks by a Manchester court last week, when he refused to carry out community service, having been convicted of assault of his ex-girlfriend, Monica Ward. Denying the charges and punishment, Bez told the court: "I'm not doing it. (I'm not) bothered. I'm going to appeal and take this to a real court." The judge immediately sentenced him to four weeks detention, and as he was being led away Bez (real name Mark Berry) sounded like Stewie from Family Guy when he declared: "Victory is in my grasp." And here was me thinking that victory in court for the accused meant acquittal. I'm pretty sure that he can rule out X Factor as a means of reviving his career too...

While my usual theatre of operations ordinarily entails the music news that occurs outside the US, occasionally certain events are simply too tasty to ignore. With that in mind, noted celebrity blogger Perez Hilton broke a story last week, detailing Frances Bean Cobain's response to a recent online telling off by her mother, Courtney Love. In recent times Love has been a perfect blend of passive aggressiveness when it comes to dealing with her estranged daughter, at times begging her to come home, and sometimes snapping at her with the venom and bearing of a cobra, most recently on the occasion of her daughter's 18 birthday. While Cobain usually takes the moral high ground, Hilton did discover a recent response by Kurt Cobain's only child to her mother via Twitter, which read: "I pitty your inability to love yourself. I hope you find your soul, wherever it may be. stop acting like a prepubescent feral cat (sic)." Ouch, straight to the point and that "prepubescent feral cat" jibe sits up there with the all time descriptive putdowns of a musician...

With that in mind, I thought it might be fun to share some of the best insults ever directed at musicians, often by other musicians, at least in this humble reporter's opinion. Speaking of her ex-husband, actress Britt Eklund said of Rod Stewart: "He was so mean it hurt him to go to the bathroom." Having once shared the stage with Chuck Berry, Keith Richards claimed: "I love his work but I couldn't warm to him even if I was cremated next to him." Richards also found himself on the other side of an insult, when Elton John said of his stage act: "It's like a monkey with arthritis, trying to go onstage and look young." Nor is the musical insult a modern manifestation, with Mozart once saying of a rival: "I liked your opera. Perhaps I will set it to music." Speaking of the notoriously anti-Semitic German composer, Edgar Wilson Nighe delivered the gloriously loaded: "Wagner's music is better than it sounds." But in recent years, few can approach the level of invective employed by Boy George, who mused about Madonna: "I just think she's a vile, hideous human being with no redeeming qualities." Poor Madonna also got it in the neck when he stated: "Comparing Madonna with Marilyn Monroe is like comparing Raquel Welch with the back of a bus." His decades long feud with George Michael once provoked: "Sleeping with George Michael would be like having sex with a groundhog." While not about a musician, I couldn't help including his take on Prince Charles' wife, Camilla Parker-Bowles: "Poor old Camilla, she gets a lot of bad press, but Charles knows she can take it like a man." Best of all however, was his appraisal of fellow '80s icon Prince, of whom he noted: "He looks like a dwarf who's been dipped in a bucket of pubic hair." A cross-dressing, occasionally criminally-inclined, former drug addict he may be, but you've got to admit, he throws a mean stone from a glasshouse.