Joe Kavanagh's Music News

Several stories vied for the biggest headline in the Irish music world last week, but by virtue of his stature alone (in a symbolic sense at least), Bono heads the list, due to an injury to his back, which has put the band's upcoming tour on hold. U2 were due to resume their 360 Degree tour on June 3, in Salt Lake City, Utah, but that date has now been postponed, after the singer was rushed into a hospital in Germany, in order to undergo an emergency operation on a back injury. A statement issued to the media read: "Bono has today undergone emergency back surgery for an injury sustained during tour preparation training. He was admitted to a specialist neuro surgery unit in a Munich hospital. Bono will spend the next few days there, before returning home to recuperate. Once his condition has been assessed further, a statement will be made regarding the impact on forthcoming tour dates." No further word on its cause was released to the media at the time of going to press but we wish him a speedy recovery, and hope he is back out on the road helping to save the universe in the very near future...

Undoubtedly, the other big story in Irish celebritydom last week was Ronan Keating's split with wife Yvonne, effective immediately, after she discovered that he was allegedly having an affair with one of the band's backing dancers when she discovered a secret cell phone amongst his belongings, packed with incriminating messages. A source close to the situation was quoted in UK tabloid the Daily Mirror as saying: "Yvonne was heartbroken but she made her mind up on the spot. The cracks were there already, but this was the final straw. She isn't the sort of person to forgive and forget. Ronan has accepted her decision." The backing dancer in question is reported to be one Francine Cornell, who - in true post-Tiger fashion - will purportedly sell all the sordid details of her story to the media in the near future. She doesn't exactly sound like the type of classy broad that would be worth throwing away his marriage for, not to mention the squeaky clean image that he has spent years cultivating...

While one manufactured star appears to be in terminal decline, another continues to soar to new heights, with a report last week maintaining that Cheryl Cole was recently paid $375,000 for a 30-minute private show, during the Cannes Film Festival. The former Girls Aloud singer was awarded the astounding fee by jewelry company de Grisogono, who apparently know as much about talent as I do about Tiffany & Co., because having seen her perform, I would actually pay more money to keep her silent than I would to hear her sing. Apparently I am in a minority as Cole's fortune has risen an incredible 150%, from $6 million to $15 million, since she began appearing as a judge on Simon Cowell's TV show, X Factor. Perhaps it is not coincidental then that Girls Aloud manager, Louis Walsh, is calling for the band to reform, with the Irish music mogul quoted in the media last week declaring: "I think there's another album there. They have to make one more. They don't have to like each other - they just have to work together. No girl band really gets on well." Louis Walsh showing his gender sensitivity there. I'm pretty certain that anyone sitting closely enough to him as he issued that statement would actually have been able to discern the dollar signs in his eyes...

Staying on the subject of manufactured pop stars for a little longer, Susan Boyle has apparently been offered a role on smash hit TV show, Glee. Show creator Ryan Murphy, told EW.com last week: "(Susan), I have two words for you: 'Lunch. Lady.' I think (the character) Kurt would just die to give her a Christmas makeover. I don't even know if she's interested but it's been pitched." Kind of like Lunchlady Doris meets Groundskeeper Willy. It wasn't all good news for the Scottish singing superstar last week however, as another of her idols had a pop at her in the media. Only recently, singer Elaine Page dismissed her out of hand with a series of cheap putdowns (made all the cheaper by the fact that Paige made them after she was paid bags of money for collaborating with Boyle). Last week, it was the turn of famed opera singer Dame Kiri Te Kanawa, to round on Boyle, upon being asked her opinion of the Scot, telling UK publication Radio Times: "Let's get off that subject. Move on. I'm doing something classical, not whizz-bang. Whizz-bang disappears. It goes 'whizz' and then 'bang'. You insult me by even wanting to bring it into this conversation. I'm not interested." Her spicy words would have carried a little more weight but for the fact that she issued them while promoting her new show, which is essentially an operatic version of American Idol. Stones and glasshouses...

Mick Jagger claims that he still receives special attention from US Immigration authorities, due to his 1969 marijuana conviction. The singer explained to talk show host Larry King that over 40 years later he still gets pulled into a room for a special question and answer session with authorities each and every time he attempts to enter the US. He also revealed that he would be in favor of legalizing cannabis and marijuana in a localized region, in order to study whether it should be legalized across the board, telling King: "The whole question of legalizing drugs is fraught... You usually try these things out in very small places... You know, like you try a new product out in a small kind of society or an island somewhere. And in England they always try out new mobile phones (cell phones) in (the) Isle of Man. They've got a captive society. So I said, you should try - you should try the legalization of all drugs on the Isle of Man and see what happens. Human beings seem to have a propensity to want to take drugs in some form... It seems to be the propensity of human beings to want to use them... I think you have to take that as read, you know." I'll tell you what would happen; the population of the Isle of Man would double and donut sales would go through the roof. Jagger also claims that in contrast to many of his peers, he no longer takes drugs before going on stage, stating: "You know, taking drugs on a recreational level is one thing. But taking them while you're working on a stage is, you know, I don't think it was that great. It's the control factor. And the thing about being on stage, you really want to feel that you're sort of in control a lot, I think, because I don't think you want - it's not a place where you want to be out of control." If statements like those come to the attention of US Immigration officers, I'm thinking that poor old Mick will be spending even more time sitting in that little room the next time he attempts to get into the States...

While Mick Jagger may have his drug impulses under control, Amy Winehouse once again proved that she is teetering on the brink, after the singer was rushed to a London hospital last week after a particularly heavy drinking session. This coming only weeks after she was rushed to hospital after a similar incident in April, and only months after she returned from a yearlong stay in the Caribbean aimed at curing her of her decadent ways. A source close to the troubled singer told UK tabloid The Sun: "She's there because she had a load to drink and was really unwell afterwards. Not just sick, really poorly. But as she really likes it in there, she was happy to go in for a few days. She's spending more time in the clinic than anywhere else at the moment." It looks like we can add an acute dependence on hospitals to the list of Winehouse's addictions...

While we are talking about troubled artists, Pete Doherty has fallen upon hard times according to reports in the media, which claim that the singer is currently living in a hovel of an apartment in Camden Town. Once one of the biggest stars in music, Doherty is now barely managing to eke out a living by performing acoustic gigs on the local pub circuit. Luckily for him, he and his former band, The Libertines will be paid in the region of $1.7 million to reform for a handful of festival appearances this coming summer. Mind you, with the amount of money that he allegedly owes the taxman, Pete Doherty is more than capable of spending whatever is left on crackpipes alone...

Staying with Peters - in a manner of speaking - Peter Andre voiced his outrage that an imposter was attempting to pass himself off as the dim-but-likeable singer on social networking site, Facebook. The Australian singer claimed that the pretender contacted girls and asked them to send him photos of themselves wearing little more than a coquettish smile. The cheeky fraud even attempted to set up a meeting with one unsuspecting lady before finally being discovered. I'm guessing that his cover was blown when he started using words with more than two syllables...

Elvis Costello placed himself in the eye of a political storm with his announcement that he is to cancel a pair of upcoming concerts in Israel, on moral grounds. The singer (real name: Declan McManus) posted a statement online, which read: "It is after considerable contemplation that I have lately arrived at the decision that I must withdraw from the two performances scheduled in Israel on the 30th of June and the 1st of July. I must believe that the audience for the coming concerts would have contained many people who question the policies of their government on settlement and deplore conditions that visit intimidation, humiliation or much worse on Palestinian civilians in the name of national security. It is a matter of instinct and conscience. I cannot imagine receiving another invitation to perform in Israel, which is a matter of regret but I can imagine a better time when I would not be writing this." Israeli Culture Minister, Limor Livnat fired back immediately, declaring: "An artist boycotting his fans in Israel is unworthy of performing here." ...

Perhaps Mick Jagger can give Tokio Hotel's Tom Kaulitz a lesson on recreational use of drugs because this is one mixed up puppy, if one of his recent interviews is anything to go by. The guitarist was talking to German newspaper Bild, when he claimed that he overdosed on Viagra in a Taiwanese hotel room, leaving him with his head pounding and blurred vision. Not that I have ever used the stuff but in my understanding of Viagra is that it is not the type of drug that you just take to sit around and enjoy, so he might want to try keeping it for when he is in female company the next time. Also, I'm no doctor but if he was suffering from an ache in his arm the next morning, I think we've found the cause of the blurred vision. Actually, given his obvious abounding stupidity and history of beating up women, it's probably best that we don't let his swimmers anywhere near the gene pool. I would go so far as to tell him that Viagra is a suppository, which has to be taken a dozen times daily for a month, in order to appreciate its full effect...

Finally, incredible as it may sound, Lady Gaga has applied for an apprenticeship with Irish hat designer Philip Treacy, although a representative for the Galway-born fashion trendsetter says that a decision has yet to be made on whether she will be allowed to join the esteemed company. One thing is certain if her application is successful; casual Fridays at that company will never be the same...