G'Day From Downunder

Grab the old kettle, pour a cup of hot water and jiggle the tea bag up and down five or six times, then we can have a cuppa and a chat.

Before leaving Cork on my recent visit to Ireland I called in to the Imperial Hotel in the South Mall for a quick pint and to meet Joe Kennedy, the General Manager (not to be confused with Joe Kennedy, JFK's dad) now isn't that a handy name to have - you wouldn't be forgetting that too fast now would you? Of course not!

Anyway, Joe was only too delighted to see me and offered me a wonderful warm welcome.

We spoke about my younger days in Cork, how it had changed since those days and my recollections of the old Imperial Hotel. Even today it retains its iconic position in the city.

He then introduced me to Timothy Herlihy, the Head Concierge who he said had 25-year service with the establishment and who has a wealth of historical knowledge on the place.

After a time of chin wagging and small talk Tim and I decided to wonder off to a quiet corner to have a long chat about the 195-year-old hotel, the oldest in Cork.

Isn't that typical Ireland? No matter where you go in Ireland for a quick pint and a quick chat, before you know it you've got the whole history.

This reminds me of a story that happened about twenty years ago. An old business partner of mine in Australia, Ted Wilkins, who was a lovely character, was always asking me about Ireland but he was afraid to visit because of the "Troubles" in the North.

For five years I begged and badgered him to go there. I told him that Guinness does not travel well and to appreciate its fine qualities one has to go to Ireland.

Finally he and his wife Margaret decided to go in his retirement year.

On his return he told me he hired a car in Wexford on arriving and was doing the circuit of Ireland: Wexford, Waterford, Cork, Kerry and so on round the country.

"Thank God I retired from work," he tells me, "Otherwise I would never have been able to stick to a schedule or return to work on time."

"Ted, what went wrong?," I queried. He told me that when he got to Waterford he inquired as to the whereabouts of the Waterford Crystal factory.

The man he asked directions was so nice and obliging he insisted Margaret and Ted stay the night with him and his wife.

So they ended up spending two weeks in Waterford with the nice chap who had given him directions.

Hence Ted's holiday was extended to eight weeks instead of four.

The moral of the story is, when in Ireland, don't ask question or ask for direction unless you are prepared for long, long answers.

So where was I? Oh yes, in a quiet corner of the Imperial Hotel bar and getting a history lesson from Timothy Herlihy.

He tells me in 1813 the building was designed by twenty-year-old Thomas Deane - a remarkable achievement for such a young man.

In 1845, some thirty-two years later he also designed University College Cork. Some of the famous people who stayed at the Imperial include Michael Collins, who slept there the night before he died; Sir Walter Scott, actor Brian Dennehy, George Best and Jonathon Rhys-Myers.

A major dinner was held for Daniel O'Connell, also just before he died. Maureen O'Hara dines there regularly.

The hotel which started out as a stagecoach Hotel has now been transformed into a modern day comfort and hospitality facility to rival any.

It still retains it's homely feeling. It's cosy and comfortable with a magnificent bar that pours a brilliant pint, a coffee and cake lounge to ruin your diet and everything is very friendly.

Those of you who read my column regularly will know how I brag about the brilliant comfortable beds of Fitzpatrick's in New York.

Well, guess what? Who's got the best beds in Ireland? You guessed it, the Imperial Hotel Cork. I just had to try them for myself.

When you travel as much as I do it is absolutely crucial to get a good night's sleep, otherwise I would go into meltdown. And now that secret is out of the bag you must try it for yourself. Go on, prove me wrong.

Tim is a wonderful, charismatic chap with a wealth of knowledge about both the hotel and Cork itself.

He followed his father Donal into the hospitality business at the age of seventeen.

His dad had spent forty-four years in the restaurant in the old Palm Suite serving the VIPs, and boy could his dad write a book on what he saw and heard.

Tim's day starts at 8am and there's a constant stream of enquiries from guests.

Where's the best golf course? Where's the best restaurant. Where do I get the best pint of Guinness?

There are constant questions and queries. He confirms what Joe Kennedy said you have to be: a mind full of information to do this job but he couldn't imagine doing anything else.

"Keep the customer satisfied" is his motto!

His job now is a far cry from when he started at the Imperial 25 years ago doing general duties, even making the beds up.

He says that was the best training he could have had. You get to know every corner in the hotel that way, plus you get to observe the mechanics of how a hotel functions.

His training duties included: barman, restaurant hand, reception and then later, doing the meeting and greeting of VIPs, Lord Mayors and Government Ministers.

Tim is the consummate representative of the Imperial and is without doubt one of the hotel's major assets.

After all, lets be fair, people like Tim are often the first and last you meet when booking in and out of a hotel.

It's his job to make you feel welcome, bid you farewell and check to make sure you had a comfortable stay and to welcome you back in the future.

When my old business partner Ted returns to Ireland next year to reacquaint himself with his new friend in Waterford (the guru on directions) I will make sure he calls in to get further instructions from Tim, and I bet you that once he books into the Imperial it will be likened to Hotel California. There will be no leaving.

Now that Ted's retired, why would he want to leave anway, when he will have comfort plus personal service and a Concierge with more knowledge than an encyclopaedia?

To those of you who read my last column you may recall that my mate Brian O'Donnell the brilliant wordsmith with an amazing wit is just two hops and a skip in his 'Hi B Bar' just around the corner from the Imperial.

So if you're off to Ireland just drop in to see Tim and tell him I sent you and I promise you will be treated like royalty.

Until I talk to you again be good to those who love you!

Slainte from Downunder