LA Confidential

By James Bartlett

Hollywood was shocked to the core this week by the unceremonious dumping of one of the brightest stars in the Tinsel Town sky. No, I'm not talking about the decision amongst the astronomy and science community to downgrade Pluto out of the planet club - what on earth will astrologists do now? I'm talking about something much more important than that; the ignominious and public dumping of Tom Cruise and his production company by Paramount Studios.

Hollywood worships money, and there's no question that he has made many millions - nay, billions - for both himself and the studio over the years. He's undoubtedly the biggest movie star on the planet, and has been so for years now. His last movie Mission: Impossible III made many hundreds of millions worldwide, but it didn't as perform as well as expected within the USA, and that was one of the reasons given by Sumner Redstone, the chairman of the Viacom board (who own Paramount Studios amongst many, many others things) as to why Cruise and his offices were off their Lot.

But it wasn't the only reason. As you have read in my columns before, Hollywood is a cruel and harsh mistress, and they don't hang about when they fire someone or someone goes out of favor. With Cruise's dumping, it shows that nobody is above being treated as exactly what they are: an employee for a huge corporation. Even so, it must have been a hard pill for Cruise to swallow. Sure, he's beyond wealthy (he could probably afford to buy the all the planets in the solar system if he wished), so for many actors like him, the real thing that drives them is something money can't buy - the endless love of the public.

Sure, there are awards and money, but beyond that there is the very rare prize of being considered a legend by the fans. Cruise is a fine actor but not an exceptional one, and though he is certainly a legend within his own time, he will never be remembered as a legendary actor who moved people, or was in a film that everyone remembers. He can't take his money with him, and the fact that that makes him just like you and I can be tough for the odd breed known as movie stars to accept.

Maybe I'm reading too much into it. Officially, the deal Cruise and his production company had with Paramount was ending anyway, and whether it was a battle over the cost of a new contract or not, veteran industry man Redstone noted that it was Cruise's public behavior that caused his downfall; his strange actions regarding his girlfriend Katie Holmes, his pontifications about psychiatry, post natal depression and Scientology lost him many points in the eyes of the American public, and they are the bread and butter audience for commercial movies such as Cruise's. Even if international sales are big - like with Mission: Impossible III - that's seen as a bonus. Hollywood needs you to perform well on your home turf, especially when you are being paid that well.

Cue lots of back-tracking from Cruise - expect to see him, Holmes and baby Suri come out of hiding - Cruise's producer Paula Wagner and his uber agents CAA expressing outrage at the killing of the(ir) golden goose, and other producers (who have all worked with Cruise and got even more wealthy as a result) saying that Redstone "went about it the wrong way." What was he supposed to do? Order a purple carpet sprinkled with rose petals? The contract was over, and wasn't being renewed. End of story.

It's in no way the end of Cruise, though. Apparently there's already a $100,000,000 production fund in place, but there are lots of legal issues to sort out. Cruise is going to have to tread carefully now, but in the bigger picture it could easily set a precedent for studios and companies dealing with movie stars and their endless demands: if they can do that to Cruise, what they could do to me? In expensive clubs all over town, many studio heads are and executives are toasting Redstone's actions. In restaurants just as expensive, agents and actors are cursing it.

If all else fails, Tom could always dip his toe into the real world with the winner of my JOB OF THE WEEK AWARD. So many people here in Hollywood seem to have dogs - either carrying them around in their bags like toys to show off, or leaving them cooped up in the house all day just so they can walk them two blocks, chat on their cell phone and wait for doggy praise - so it's no surprise that a new dog talent agency is looking for part-time staff. Yes, a dog talent agency. Only in L.A.! It's goodbye Cruise and Pitt, hello Fido and Spot! That Lassie had it all worked out from day one!

The BIZARRE AWARD this week doesn't go to poor Pluto, but to two very rare fish that are the stuff of sea monster legend, and were retrieved dead from the seas around California. First was the 15-foot long oarfish, a sort of snake-like beast with a crimson mane and a hatchet-shaped head. It was recently captured off Santa Catalina Island, and is about to go on display at the Los Angeles Museum of Natural History.

Secondly, the tentacles of a giant squid were found off Santa Cruz Island, probably after coming off the worst in an attack by a killer whale or white whale. The giant squid is the stuff of Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, and scientists are over the moon, because they know very little about either species. I'll definitely be going to see the oarfish!

On a more local note, us landlubbers spotted something rather special when we were out for dinner last night. It was an actor from almost 300 TV shows and movies including Bladerunner, Wayne's World 2 and Big Trouble in Little China, although he is probably most famous for playing Kahn in the legendary Jack Nicholson/Faye Dunaway movie Chinatown, which was actually playing that night in an outdoor show at Hollywood Forever Cemetery - I wonder if the actor, James Hong, was on his way there?

Throughout summer, the Hollywood Forever cemetery - resting place of many stars - holds outdoor screenings of some classic movies. You take a picnic, a blanket, and a bottle of wine and settle down to some movie magic - great fun!

At the Box Office this weekend, Mark Wahlberg (certainly never going to be remembered as an acting legend!) had #1 movie, opening with $17 million. His movie Invincible is apparently a better-than-usual cliché underdog football story. Happily, my favorite Little Miss Sunshine was a #3, with a total now of $23 million.